Pretense in Life

Dear Life,

Did you ever notice the acting people do and how good they are at it?
Maybe not, some people are so involved in their own lives, that they have no time or desire to think about it.
They might not even recognize the pretense in their own life because of the trust and love they feel is there.  Whether the individual acknowledges the pretense, is up to them. However, there are many that are naive and are totally oblivious to what is going on.  But you, Life, well, you know because you observe what is happening daily.
 
  A belief in thinking someone cared because they said they did, only their action prove otherwise, is pretense.  For instance, infidelity is a betrayal of trust, and pretense. A person who lied to you would be hard to believe in again, because of pretense, a promise made to you, then broken for no reason, a confidence repeated, a unpleasant health report, and no one acknowledging it.  All of these show the pretense in life - 

  I use to be naïve, I believed everything that was told to me, verbatim. A gray area didn't exist, it was all black and white. I took life as it came, whatever the day brought, I dealt with, not expecting anything unpleasant. Sometimes there were little surprises that were disappointments, but nothing earth shattering. I could still carry on. When someone said they cared, I believed - no more, I am going to be one terrific actress.

SOMETIMES LIFE GETS IN THE WAY

Dear Life,                                                                                         1/30/13

Why are you so unfair?  Isn’t one time enough for a person?

I truly did not think I had anything to worry about.

I was just starting to relax a little bit, when you decided to knock the wind out of my sail.

Can you tell me – why me?  Not fair Life, Not fair. I know you are not supposed to ask why, but damn it, why me, why now?

Yes, you have managed to scare me big time. I am truly worried and scared.  I am not as agile as I was before. I am also fat!  How am I going to have the strength to work through this again?

The doctor sure was wrong, he said I was pretty much out of the danger zone, and he did not want to see me for a year. He gave me false hope. I actually believed him.

Oh yes, and I have not been to church since last May, I’m sure that didn’t help my situation. How is God supposed to listen to me now, when I only go to Him when I need him?  How can I even ask Him?

Right now, I hate you Life, I hate you with a passion.

HELLO LIFE

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Good Morning Life,                                                                                                            1/30/13

  Strange morning with my hubby. He was quiet, but I knew he was thinking about my doctors visit yesterday and the diagnosis. Yet he did not mention anything.. Not even "How are you this morning."
So am I to pretend that nothing happened. Like everything is normal as before?
That would be so hard for me to do, I need to talk to someone about my feelings, or else I will go crazy.
I don't want to tell the kids, they have enough on their plate, and what can they do anyhow? Nothing except pray. but would they say? what could they say? Nothing.
  I thought I could talk to him, but I guess he is not up to it yet. Feel so alone
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